Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
