Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
