Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
