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• (240): View more from Maryland

  how did your night go?

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he asked for my myspace name.

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• (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Lol welcome to greek life

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• (415): View more from California

  did we hook up?

  (925): View more from California

  no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.

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