Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
