just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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