I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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