Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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