Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
operation have a gay friend backfired
two words: eviction party
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
