Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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