No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
