I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
