remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
