Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I am available for nakedness
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
