man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
