sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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