Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
