Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
