The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
