she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
