Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
