If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
