One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
