I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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