I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
