He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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