did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
