i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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