I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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