everyone is single if you try hard enough
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
