Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
