Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize