It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she told me i tasted like america
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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