I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
