I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
