Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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