I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I need a beard to bite.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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