its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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