porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
