"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
