in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
