who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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