i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
