brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
