Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize