she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize