it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
