How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
