You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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