I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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