Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
