Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize