Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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