i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
