hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
