I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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