I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Panties = found
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
