my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
