I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
